If a relationship was like eating a bar of chocolate – Enjoyed for a few minutes then forgotten – All of us with be experts on relationships. The unfortunate reality though, is that relationships are usually long lasting leaving aside the random flings and crushes. If you are serious about making things work with your current partner but it constantly seems like an uphill battle – Read on. Here are 5 relationship killers that you need to avoid to make sure your relationship lasts.
Relationship Killer #1 :Suffocation
This is a common relationship killer, and you have probably heard it dozens of times. What they don’t tell you though is how difficult it is to do especially if you have deep feelings for someone. When you are in a relationship, it is often easy to forget that your partner is still an individual with his/her own aspirations, hobbies and interests. They require their time away to self-improve or unwind. Constant texting and calls can be suffocating and being angry over your partners lack of commitment to your demands in this regards, will only result in resentment and disaster. Have your own hobbies, interests and passions and make absence a common ground. Don’t let this relationship killer doom your relationship. If you are looking to add some excitement to your life; here are some great hobbies that you can look into according to your personality type.
Relationship Killer #2 :Criticism
Everyone has their own reasons for doing things, even your partner. Never criticize them for their actions, beliefs or choices. As much their decisions may not always align with your beliefs, it is important to practice tolerance. Put yourself in his/her shoes and view things from their perspective. If for some reason you are still unhappy – Have a diplomatic conversation to voice your concerns and try to come to an agreement. To have an effective conversation with the best possible outcome, remember to follow these steps: 1) Recognize that avoidance never works, 2) Leave out the “but’s”, 3)prepare yourself by being in the right state of mind, 4) Agree on commons goals and 5) stay optimistic.
Relationship Killer #3: Lack of appreciation
According to Dale Carnegie’s bestseller how to win friends and influence people, all humans yearn for the feeling of importance. This is often accompanied with appreciation for something that they did well. In a relationship, there is no difference. In fact the need for appreciation to and from your partner is the most important. Remember to thank him/her for a loving gesture and make sure they return similar feelings when you do something special. You should know however that there is a distinct difference between flattery and appreciation. With the latter being insincere in nature.
Relationship killer #4: Failure to share things in common
Looks can only get the initial spark going and is usually to initiate the relationship. If after that, you share nothing in common with your partner – There is a chance that your relationship will burn out. Remember if you share more things in common with your partner it means that you will be willing to spend more time with them. Just don’t confuse the excitement of the activity with the excitement of being with your partner. It should be equally enjoyable just sitting and having a conversation about a topic you both enjoy reading about.
You want to constantly change your partner
Change management is for large corporations – Leave it there! If you fell for someone, there shouldn’t be warrant for any change. As with the good, you should accept the bad that follows. If however, the bad outweighs the good, then maybe you should reconsider if the relationship is really worth the effort. Compromise is key in this regard. Deal breakers should be addressed once things start to get serious.
Relationship Killer #5: You rigidly adhere to stereotypical viewpoints
“Men should pay the bills and have the job”. “Women should stay at home and watch the kids”. Whatever stereotypes you adhere to, may be the reason why your relationship could fail. A relationship is about sharing. Sharing responsibilities, dreams and memories. If you let stereotypes dictate your relationship – It will only result in feeling of contempt and resentment manifesting. Equality is always a great way to sure your commitment of making things work and shows the maturity of the relationship.
To learn how to fully achieve success in all facets of your life, read: Applying A Growth Mindset To Achieve Success